Why Don’t I Hate My Chronically Ill Body?




Have you ever hated your body because it has a chronic illness? 

Have you ever blamed it for not being able to do what you want it to do? 

I used to spend so much time and energy fixating on what my body used to be able to do. 

First, what it could do before I got ill. And then as time went on and memories of my old, healthy body started to fade (I’ve been battling chronic illness for 19 years now) instead I would fixate on my better days, my baseline.


Every time I had a flare or an exacerbation of my symptoms, I wasn’t focusing on what I could do moving forward, trying to better understand, use and cherish my current body. Instead I would waste energy looking backwards and focusing on what my old body, a body that I might never have again, could do.


And because of that I could never find contentment. I could never be at peace with what I was doing day to day, because I was always looking to do more, to be more than was physically possible for me. 


So now I try my hardest (although I don’t always succeed!) to focus on how amazing my body is doing right now. 


My body is the BOSS!


It gets up every day and fights for me! It fights 5 chronic illnesses with no breaks, no time off and still manages to keep going. It takes whatever stresses or dramas (or pandemics) the world throws at it and it keeps me moving forward. 


It keeps fighting even when there seems to be no help or support or hope for improvement.


It doesn’t give up.


So try not to compare what your body used to be able to do with what it can do now.


Because your body right now….KICKS ASS!





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